Friends! Behold:

 The EASIEST, 100% innocent GF, Vegan, Dairy-free Thai Noodle Salad. 

('Thai' is used here in the 'Recipe Title' because the addition of peanuts or lime to any savoury dish automatically makes it Thai and/or Vietnamese and/or exotic, right?) 

This is what happened, and it COULD HAPPEN TO YOU: 

I spotted a packet of gluten-free soba noodles (100% buckwheat) in my pantry cupboard and then forgot about it. Later, same day, whilst strolling the outdoor aisles of the Union Square Farmer's Market, a table of round and shining neon-purple cabbage heads caught my eager nerd eye. Anything from the cabbage/cruciferous family is always welcome in my cart and my life, because: 1. Sulphurous veg and 2. Phase Two detoxification. (Do not ask, simply trust)

1. Shred said cabbage into the most delicate white-and-mauve ribbons using a big sharp knife, drop them into the biggest bowl and then cover them in this dressing:

• 2 tablespoons crunchy peanut butter (organic, 100% raw peanuts)
• 3 Tblspns Tamari sauce (or Soy, if you're cool with gluten)
•  The juice of 1 big lime
• 1 heaped, dripping Tbspn of local raw honey
• A half-thumb size of fresh ginger, finely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
• three shakes of you favourite hot sauce
• more lime luice ;)

2. Boil the gluten-free noodles as per cooking instructions on the packet. While they're boiling, slice some mushrooms into a bowl and cover them in tamari sauce until they're swimming. 

3. Drain the cooked noodles well & pour them all over your dressed-up red cabbage. Mix it all together with your clean hands (don't burn). Feel the noodles, cabbage and peanut sauce slide all over the place like uncontrollable slippery snakes. Inhale a hit of garlic and ginger scent. Be dramatic. 

4. Top the lot with your juicy not-cooked mushroom slices and some avocado if you want to, but whatevs - anyhting from here on out is just details.  I'm dreaming up all kinds of toppings for future feasts  -- bbq prawn;  sesame crusted oven-grilled tofu;  shredded spicy carrots;  sliced green onions and pan-heated peanuts!  What else?! 

Oh, the food nerdery!  

Bon ap, rabbits. Let me know how it goes.

All the x's and o's.