We all remember the DOVE Real Beauty ad that went viral at the speed of light because “WOAH! woman are actually much more beautiful than they perceive themselves to be!?
Okay. Thanks. But now what? We know we think jack-shit of ourselves. We know it’s because of the pro-anno media we consume and the shallow beliefs of society. We know that we live in a weight-obsessed, image-driven culture that still very much judges us by our hip-to-waist ratio.
Little girls are praised for being"so pretty"And then we run out of adjectives.
The conversation has begun to shift recently (albeit at snail pace). Who remembers all the squirming and shit-talking at Hannah’s unclad real-girl bod in season 1 of GIRLS? “It’s a bit much for me to be honest” "she's just not sexy"...
Low body confidence is stopping us from taking part in important shit. Like perusing our passions, speaking up, seeing ourselves as leaders, taking real care of ourselves (and others), and applying our brains to solving some actual problems in our communities and the world at large.
Too many über talented boys and girls and men and women hold themselves back because they THINK they’re not …(you name it)……enough.
HOW to work through, and get past it?
Skip straight to self-love. Like full-on unconditional acceptance and amoré for the whole self.
And the only way to love yourself is:
….Accept, Forgive, and Be.
and feel gratitude for what your body lets you do. Name them. Daily.
If you’re waiting until you have a smaller waist or a tighter ass or Beyonce's thighs of steel or a chiseled chin like Clark Kent then you’ll wait your life away and dislike your reflection increasingly more with every dying day.
If you unlike something about yourself or desperately want to look different - thinner legs, straighter hair, you name it! - then you are opening up a can of depro control worms and inviting obsession into your daily life which WILL ABSOLUTELY make you take worse care of yourself.
If however, you accept yourself as you are - perfectly imperfect and good enough - then your whole attitude on self-care begins to shift as well. If you see yourself as like you view an unknowing toddler in all his/her ‘flawed’ perfection THEN things will start to REALLY shift for you. Your cool confidence will exude from your pores like the scent of cinnamon from apple pie! You will find your voice and speak your truth shamelessly and respectfully, you will know what real love feels like and notice it everywhere around you. You will make health and strength a priority. You will attract people that see your whole worth and you will be inspired to pursue big, productive interests. and cultivate gratitude for what your body lets you do
Sound good?
Here are 4 little things that can go a long way in kicking Beauty Ideals off the pedestal to make room for the more real stuff:
1. Stop the body talk. Take ‘fat’ and any other negative physical descriptions straight out your vocab. Don’t engage in diet-talk, or food-guilting. It's so yawn, and 90s.
2. Do a media cleanse. Remove the shit that makes you feel less-than from your social media menu. Surround yourself with body-diverse and body positive activists. My current fave shero is Jessamyn from @mynameisjessamyn (who I was lucky enough to do yoga beside at Strala on Friday - what a fucking fabulous force to reckon with! Follow her already). Also @recipesforselflove and @gurlstalk.
3. Watch what you say and how you think. Catch yourself when you slip into default judgement of yourself or others based on warped beauty ideals. Don’t compare. Do give compliments to behind-the-surface stuff like kindness and guts and glory and whit and strength and skill and presence.
4. Ask yourself: what would I do if I was…..(you name it)….enough ?? And then just do it. Do the thing that you have been waiting to do. If you are waiting for circumstances to be different or for yourself to be ‘perfect’ in the eyes of pop culture then you are slipping further down the shitty spiral of bad body image and totally missing the point. Buy that crop top, apply for the job, start that blog or business, write your book, go on that retreat, enrol in that class, go on the hike, join that group, take your shirt off, introduce yourself to that person, keep the lights on... DO it already! For you. and us, and the next generation of women.
You are so perfect! It’s actually unbelievable how perfect and enough you are. x
ALL of the x’s and o’x.
Pee Ess: jump on my Pinterest board for a dose of real life inspiring babes, and send me pins to add! Who are your inspireers?
PSS: If this post lit up your insides for a second, or if you think it might mean summin to someone else in your life, then grab this here link and spread it all over like natural beauty butter :)
Thank you. Please msg me with any thoughts. questions, musings, realspo, or just to holla!!